Perfectionism, for me, is the desire for everything to be just right.
For example, the perfection bug bites me when I decide to write a blog about an especially interesting book or talk. I want to share this powerful message with the world! As I polish the blog for posting on Agile Leadership Journey or LinkedIn, and look for images and quotes to make it look perfect. I can do this for an hour or two, thinking that I’m striving for perfection, but if it goes on for days or weeks, we have entered obsession territory.
This results in two things:
Going through life error-free would be wonderful but if it halts progress, this is the perfection trap.
In Helgeson and Goldsmith’s book How Women Rise, we learn that women are particularly susceptible to the perfection trap. Regardless of gender, we have all fallen into it at some point. Job applications, performance reviews, presentations, pitch decks, personal correspondence – we strive for perfection and end up accomplishing nothing.
In an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, researcher and author Brené Brown explains, “When perfectionism is driving us, shame is always riding shotgun and fear is the backseat driver. We struggle with perfectionism in areas where we are most vulnerable to shame.”
Of course, this is only amplified by social media which can make us compare ourselves to others despite only seeing a small (likely Photoshopped) snapshot of their lives. Think about how this may feel for you. Do you find yourself curating an image of perfection to avoid judgement from others?
To recognize where your perfectionism is rooted, ask yourself: What is driving me? Mastery or recognition?
The answer will help you identify whether you are striving for mastery or excellence for yourself or if your perfectionism is about the opinion, validation, or recognition of others.
If you are still unsure, consider these questions:
If you answered yes to any of these, you may be caught in the perfection trap.
Letting go of the urge to be perfect is not easy! Like adopting any new habit, it can be hard. Just remember mastery is all about practice. Accept that you are a work in progress.
Consider these five ideas:
While it’s still a challenge sometimes, I have learned to enjoy the journey, and along the way, I try to emotionally disconnect myself from the outcome. I have learned to value progress over perfection.
Remember, to err is human. Take a chance. Get out of your comfort zone. And don’t worry about what others think! If you really care about doing great work, you must put the burden of perfectionism to rest.
Continue learning how to free yourself from the perfectionism trap. After reading this article, listen to the author discuss her experience on (Re)Learning Leadership podcast.
Rashmi Fernandes works with leaders and teams to co-create outcomes that lead to agility and positive team culture, while focusing on strategic alignment. She specializes in enabling product teams to focus on customer centricity and arrive at shared understanding towards a common purpose. As an Innovation Catalyst, she coaches teams on how to take an idea from concept to life.
She has led many enterprise-wide initiatives like Product Conferences, Product & Scrum Master Communities of Practice & Leadership Development Programs. Her passion for her community in India brought together an initiative that provides a platform for over a thousand underprivileged children to play sports.
Connect with Rashmi.
© 2016 - 2024 Agile Leadership Journey, LLC All Rights Reserved | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions